


Save Me, I'm Lost

by Stella523



Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Cloud has nightmares, Cloud is staying with Leon, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-13 20:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4536651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stella523/pseuds/Stella523
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Show Me What I'm Looking For</p>
<p>Cloud is injured and staying with Leon. Cloud is also plagued with terrible nightmares. Neither of them really know what they're getting into, but they'll sure be glad for it all in the end. This picks up the night after the attack on the Great Maw in Hollow Bastion. Title from Carolina Liars</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Of Missing Couches and Stolen Pajamas

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first chaptered fic ever, it feels weird and I'm at a loss for a summary but hey! I finally wrote this!  
> I'm not sure how long this is gonna be, I guess that'll depend on if you people like it or not.  
> Enjoy

Cloud had never imagined that just walking could hurt so badly. He'd also never imagined that a legion of heartless would attack Hollow Bastion and almost kill him in the process. The fact that he was even still alive was pretty much all thanks to Leon. When that heartless had slashed through his leg, Cloud had seen stars, and fell to his knees. He was sure he was done for, until he heard the sound of a heartless being torn apart by Leon's blade. He looked up and saw the other standing over him, protecting him until he was stable enough to stand and fight again. Cloud was really grateful for Leon saving him, but he didn't really know how to show it. It just wasn't in his nature. On top of that, Leon had been gracious enough to offer Cloud a place to stay for a few days, since he didn't really have anywhere else to go. At this rate, Cloud was going to be indebted to Leon forever. Somehow, though, he didn't think Leon would hold him to that.

 

They walked together in silence, for the most part. Cloud's leg was pretty badly injured, and he limped his way through the streets. Leon made sure not to walk fast, and as much as he wanted to offer to help, he didn't, because he knew the other would be too stubborn to accept. Eventually, though, seeing him wince in pain every few seconds became too much for Leon, and he stopped in his tracks.

 

"This is ridiculous, let me help you," Leon said.

 

"What? No, I'm fine, I don't need help," Cloud responded as he looked down resolutely. He'd already accepted enough help from Leon that day, he wasn't about to ask for more.

 

"Really? Because you look to me like you're about to pass out. Don't be so stubborn and just let me help you." Leon grabbed his hand and pulled Cloud's arm over his shoulders. He then wrapped his own arm around Cloud and began walking slowly. Cloud looked like he wanted to protest, but he honestly felt so relieved from the pain that he didn't care anymore.

 

A few streets later and they reached Leon's house. He let go of Cloud to unlock the door and they both entered. Cloud limped his way over to a chair and sat down, so happy to be off his feet that he at first didn't notice Leon still standing near the doorway with a distant look on his face. Eventually he did, and muttered a "what's up" in Leon's direction.

 

Leon blinked a few times and then looked at Cloud, a half-smirk on his face.

 

"Nothing, I just... I realize now that I don't actually have a couch for you to sleep on."

 

Cloud looked up surprised at first, but a smile slowly spread across his face.

 

"How is that not something that immediately comes to mind when you offer your house out to someone?" he asked teasingly.

 

"Hey, I don't get that many people over to need a couch, and I don't really spend that much time here myself. I didn't think about it. So, I guess we're sharing a bed for now."

 

Cloud stood up and stretched his arms out behind his head. "I don't mind," he said. "There are worse people to have to sleep next to. Now, do you have a shower, or is that another one of those common household items that you somehow don't own?"

 

Leon scoffed a little and nodded towards the bedroom door. "In there."

 

Cloud grinned and turned to limp away. He glanced over his shoulder and said "Glad to see you at least have the bare necessities."

 

"I'm not _totally_ inhuman," Leon said as he went to sit in the chair Cloud had just moved from. "There's even towels in there and everything."

 

Cloud laughed as he closed the bedroom door behind him. Leon liked his laugh. It was a nice kind of laugh, the kind that makes you happy just to hear. His laugh was even rarer than his smile, which was another thing Leon liked. He made a mental note to try harder to make Cloud smile. They'd probably both end up happier for it.

 

 

 

About half an hour later, Leon sat on his bed reading. He'd heard the water stop running a few minutes ago, and he knew that Cloud had stolen some of his pajamas for the night. When the bathroom door creaked open Leon glanced up and smiled amusedly at Cloud. His hair was still wet, and he was wearing an old black t-shirt and a pair of long plaid pajama pants that Leon had bought himself a month ago.

 

"Nice clothes. Very original, I like your style," Leon joked.

 

Cloud walked over and sat down on the bed next to Leon. He shoved his legs underneath the rumpled blankets to keep warm.

 

"Shut up, I didn't have any choice," he grinned almost imperceptibly.

 

Leon shook his head gently and smirked, then went back to reading. Cloud sat there pulling at the fresh bandages on his leg absentmindedly for a while. After a few minutes, Cloud suddenly shifted and wrapped his arms around Leon's neck, so quickly that he didn't even know what was happening.

 

"Wha-?"

 

"I'm thanking you... For having my back out there today, and letting me stay here tonight, and... saving me."

 

Leon was surprised at how uncharacteristic this was of Cloud. He didn't really know what to make of it, other than that Cloud's body was very warm.

 

"Well this is definitely a shift in your usually stoic and emotionless personality," he joked. Cloud tensed up and started retreating, pulling back from the embrace.

 

"Wait," Leon caught his elbow gently before he could fully move away. "I didn't say it was a bad thing," he said as he snaked his arms around Cloud's waist. Cloud relaxed again and let his face rest in the crook of Leon's neck. The moment was very calming, something they both were in need of. They sat there for a few moments, just breathing.

 

"Thank you," Cloud all but whispered again.

 

"It's nothing," Leon said, and he finally pulled back. "We should definitely get some sleep though, you especially. You got beat up pretty bad back there."

 

Cloud ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, I sure am glad you took care of that one heartless for me, or else I think I'd have been overwhelmed." He glanced sideways at Leon and smiled playfully.

 

"Anytime, you know you can count on me," Leon said in a joking tone.

 

"...I know," Cloud said softly.

 

"Hopefully, tomorrow will be more relaxing and less destructive," Leon said as he leaned over to turn off the lamp beside him.

 

"Hopefully... Night Leon," Cloud said as he lay down in the bed facing away from the other.

 

"Goodnight," Leon said as he yawned, both of them already half asleep the moment they closed their eyes.

 

 

 


	2. Dead Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud has a nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm gonna try to post a chapter a day until I've caught up with how much I've got prewritten. Then it'll be whenever I have time. This chapter is short, I know, but I promise it gets shippy in the next one.  
> Title from Muse

_Falling_. 

 

That was the first thing Cloud was aware of in his dream.

He was falling.  

Falling through a suffocating pit of darkness, tendrils of black swirling past him. He could feel the air race by as he drew closer and closer to the bottom. He couldn't even find the breath in him to scream, to yell, to call out for someone - _anyone_ \- to help him. It wouldn't have mattered anyways. There was no one there. 

There never was. 

 

 _Silence._  

 

That was the next thing Cloud was aware of in his dream. 

He was no longer falling; the dream had shifted. Now, he was at the bottom of the pit on his hands and knees, gasping for air. The darkness was just as suffocating and blinding as before. If his own darkness had a form, he thought, this is what it would be like. All-encompassing. Terrifying. So quiet it could drive him insane. Deadly. This was more frightening than the free-fall, he thought. Again, he couldn't make a sound. 

 

_Blood._

 

That was the third thing Cloud was aware of in his dream. 

Again, he was standing in that dark pit, but it was different this time. He could see more than just black. Everything was tainted red. He saw his mother lying in front of him. Red. Then she was gone. Cloud tried to scream, really tried this time, but still nothing came out. Tifa was there now, where his mother had been. Red. Broken and contorted in a way not humanly possible. A silent sob wracked Cloud's body. Aerith was there now. Red. This one felt like a dagger being plunged into his heart. Only, that would have been a kinder fate; his heart would have stopped and he would have been allowed to die, to end this torture. Instead, he blinked, and suddenly he couldn't breathe. There lay Zack, just as he had in the moments before he died. 

Red. 

Cloud felt tears falling down his face. He tried to look away, but something cruel and masochistic in his subconscious wouldn't let him. 

So much red. 

Zack looked as good as dead, but somehow, in that moment, he opened his eyes. He looked at Cloud, hurt and betrayal radiating as clear as day. 

"Why didn't you save me?" he asked, his voice shattering the silence. Cloud still couldn't speak. In that moment he was near begging for death to take him, just so he wouldn't have to live through this again.  

"Why are you never strong enough to protect the ones you love?" Cloud blinked hard. The tears fell harder. 

"I gave everything for you, why couldn't you save me?" Cloud tried desperately to speak, to say something in response. Hell, he would have given anything just to be able to say Zack's _name_. 

"Why won't you say anything? Did you never really care about me? Or are you still just that weak?"

As Zack finished speaking, his wounds came to life, fresh blood flowing out of them. He cried out at the pain, his cry slowly growing longer, louder, reverberating through the darkness. 

He faded away, and Cloud was alone. 

 

 


	3. I'm Stuck Between The Hell I'm In And Where We Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud wakes up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Scars by Alesso

Leon woke in the middle of the night confused and very tired. He wasn't quite sure why he was awake, and he also wasn't very happy about it. He didn't have to wonder for long, though. The body next to him (which he had half-forgotten was even there) was shaking and twitching in a way that Leon knew clearly meant "nightmare". Every so often, Cloud would mumble something, or gasp, or cry out lightly. 

Leon was surprised. Who knew that mr.-fearless-careless-tough-guy-who-practically-exudes-independence was actually plagued with terrible nightmares? Not exactly something you would expect just by looking at him. Or talking to him. Or knowing him, really. 

Leon rolled over and turned on the lamp. He looked back at Cloud, who's face was contorted in a miserable expression. He leaned over and propped himself up on one elbow. He gently placed his other hand on Cloud's shoulder and shook it lightly. 

"Cloud, wake up," he said quietly. Nothing changed. Leon shook his shoulder a little more firmly. 

" **Cloud,** " he said again, louder. 

 

Cloud awoke like a drowning man bursting through the surface of the ocean, gasping for air and barely holding on to the last shreds of life. 

He shot upwards in the bed, tears running down his face, his breathing ragged, his body trembling. He brought his knees up and leaned his elbows on them, rubbing his hands over his face and through his hair. He sat there for a minute, trying to calm his breathing and come back to reality. He vaguely noticed the hand rubbing slow and calming circles over his back. It was then that he remembered he wasn't alone that night. He quickly pulled himself together. 

"I, uh... I'm sorry... Sorry I woke you up," he said in the most even and emotionless voice he could manage (which was not very much of either).

 _I can't believe you're seeing me like this right now,_  he thought. 

 

"No no, don't worry, it's fine.. It's okay... I mean, are _you_ okay?" Leon replied, settling his hand on Cloud's shoulder. 

 _I know you're not okay,_ thought Leon _._

 

_I feel like I'm skydiving without a parachute._

"I'm fine. Let's just go back to sleep, everything's fine."

 

 _Bullshit_. 

"...Okay." 

 

Leon took his hand off Cloud and leaned over to turn the lamp off. He looked back at Cloud one last time in the light, and he was pretty sure he saw more tears forming in his eyes. 

It was dark again. 

They both laid down, Cloud facing away from Leon, neither of them near falling asleep. Leon could just barely tell the other was still shaking.

"Are your ribs sore at all from today?" he asked after a few minutes. 

Cloud hesitated a moment. "No?"

 

"Good... Tell me if I'm overstepping my boundaries here," he said quietly as he rolled over towards him. He wrapped his arm around Cloud's waist and pulled him closer. 

_Your body is so warm._

 

Cloud tensed up in surprise at first, but as he started to relax, his body also stopped trembling so badly. He leaned back into Leon ever so slightly. 

 

"It's fine," he whispered, almost imperceptibly.

_Please don't let go._

 

 


	4. We Could Start Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do you do it? Make me feel like I do  
>  ~Incubus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow school started again and my schedule got thrown off but here is chapter 4
> 
> Also I just really like Incubus

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, Cloud woke up the next morning comfortable. Content. Unafraid. Not sweating, his heart calm, his mind quiet. The world must be ending, he thought. 

 

He laid there peacefully, the sunlight just barely lighting up the room. Cloud slowly became aware of the warm body he was pressed against, the arm pulled around his waist, and the fingers interlaced with his own. 

 

Wait...

 

He distinctly remembered the first two parts happening last nights, but that last thing was definitely new. Not that he hated it. It was actually quite nice, being this close to someone again. Maybe that's why he didn't pull his hand away, or untangle himself from Leon, or move from the bed for the next ten minutes. Because he secretly craved that physical affection, despite how detached and apathetic he may seem. It couldn't have anything to do with the actual person providing it. That was entirely irrelevant. 

 

Right?

 

Of course, that was how it had all started with Zack, too.   


Well shit. 

  


Cloud sighed heavily as he thought about what this might mean. He slowly but surely pulled himself out of Leon's arms and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He decided that he was hungry, and he'd make some breakfast for them both, since Leon had been nice enough to let him stay there to begin with. Cloud made his way to the kitchen and looked through the fridge, grabbing some eggs. He tried to focus on what he was doing, but his mind kept wandering back to muscular arms wrapped around his body, warm breath on his neck, big blue eyes...  


He needed to stop.   


Meanwhile, Leon was just biding his time in bed while he listened to the quiet sounds of Cloud cooking a few rooms away. He had been awake for a while, and he knew the other had been too, before he eventually got up. He didn't mind being so close to Cloud, he might even go so far as to say he liked it. It made him feel strong and protective, needed even. It was a good feeling. Cloud was a good feeling. The kind of feeling you want to keep and not let go of. He wondered if Cloud thought the same about him. He hoped so.   


He decided to not make a big deal out of this. If he actually did have feelings for Cloud _like that,_ then oh well. He wasn't going to worry about the fact that Cloud was one of his close friends, because Cloud didn't really seem to have minded either. He also wasn't gonna freak out about the fact that Cloud was a guy. He just didn't see a reason to. If Cloud made him happy, then that was that. Leon could only hope that he made Cloud feel the same way. Yeah, he really did like Cloud _like that,_ he decided. 

  


He stretched as he sat up in bed. He figured Cloud was about done with the food, and he made sure to also brush his teeth before he walked out into the kitchen. Cloud was putting scrambled eggs on two plates. 

 

"Morning," Leon said lazily as he leaned on the fridge, right next to Cloud. The other finally looked up at him and half smiled. 

 

"Good morning."

 

"You know you didn't have to do this," he said, fully aware that Cloud would have done it even if Leon had said this before he started. 

 

"I know. I wanted to."  


Leon smiled as he grabbed a fork and one of the plates Cloud was holding. "Well thanks, I always enjoy waking up to attractive blondes in my house making me breakfast," he said teasingly.   


Cloud blushed slightly. He scoffed and turned around, taking his plate to the table with Leon. "Yeah, well, don't get too used to it."

 

Leon glanced up from his food. "Why, you planning on leaving me soon?"  


Cloud hesitated. "Well, I uh- I don't _have_ to..."

 

"Good," Leon smiled widely.   


Cloud smiled too, though much smaller. "But that doesn't mean I'm gonna cook for you all the time," he teased.   


"Fair enough," Leon laughed. 

  


When they were finished with breakfast, Leon insisted on doing the dishes, since Cloud had cooked. So while Leon was

at it, Cloud leaned against the counter right next to him, and they just talked. 

 

"So did you sleep well last night? Well, you know, after..." Leon trailed off, the right words escaping him. 

 

"Yeah, I did... I'm really sorry about that, by the way. I should have... I don't know, warned you, or-"

 

"Hey man, it's okay. Everyone has nightmares sometimes. And some people have them worse than others. It's normal," Leon cut in. He turned off the water and dried his hands.   


Cloud looked down. "Thanks," he said softly. Leon turned to face him and put his hand on Cloud's shoulder.   


"No problem," he said, and Cloud finally made eye contact with him. They just stood there for a few seconds, Leon's hand fallen to rest on Cloud's upper bicep, the two looking, almost lost, into each other's eyes. Leon finally broke the silence and pulled his hand away.   


"So, um, I've always wondered this- how come your eyes glow?" he asked as he turned to lean against the counter the same way Cloud was, side by side with him. 

 

"Oh, um, it's from the Mako in my body. It's this energy they give to Shinra SOLDIERs to make them stronger, almost superhuman. Not necessarily invincible, but better protected, quicker healing. I got it in a lab experiment. It... It put me in a coma for 4 years" Cloud said, glancing over at Leon every few seconds.   


"....Wow. That's... crazy. 4 years? What happened?" Leon asked.   


"My body went into shock. I've heard 'Mako poisoning' and I've heard 'Mako addiction', either way, my body shut down. My friend... Zack took care of me for the 4 years," Cloud said, his voice softening and taking a sad tone at the last part.   


Leon pushed around a string on the ground with his foot. Both of them were primarily staring at the floor during the conversation.   


"Zack... You said his name in your sleep a few times last night."  


Cloud blushed again and brought a hand up to rub at his face. He closed his eyes. "Great..." he muttered.   


"Don't worry, it's obvious he was important to you," Leon said comfortingly. 

 

Cloud sighed hard and put his hand back on the edge of the counter beside him. He couldn't help but think about his dream. He looked up and opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling.   


"I... I loved him more than anything in the world," Cloud said, his voice both sure and remorseful. He closed his eyes again and inhaled shakily. "It was the kind of thing you're lucky to find once in a lifetime. The kind of thing that makes each and every day worth waking up for."  


Leon nodded. He had guessed already. "What happened to him?" he asked softly after a moment. 

 

Cloud opened his eyes. He stared straight ahead at nothing in particular, not speaking. Eventually, he answered.   


"He died, protecting me. Told me I was to be his 'living legacy'... Funny, I didn't really feel much like I was 'living' anything after that," he laughed bitterly. Leon couldn't tell, but he thought it looked like Cloud's eyes were wet. 

 

Leon paused. "I'm sorry," he said, feeling bad because he knew those words meant nothing.   


Cloud turned his head and looked at Leon. "You kind of remind me of him. He was really brave, and he always put the people he cared about first. You're the same way." Cloud looked away from Leon and back at the floor. "And, I feel the same way around you that I used to around him, in the beginning. Imagine that," he half smiled. 

 

Leon stared at Cloud and eventually said, "Well then, here's to new beginnings for both of us." He slid his hand across the small space to Cloud's on the counter's edge and ran his fingertips over the top of the other's hand. Cloud moved to tangle their fingers together.  


"Yeah... I like the sound of that." 

 


	5. Just Tell Me How to Keep This So It Never Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let me know when I'm needed home  
> And I'll come  
> You can leather me with your lips
> 
> ~ Catfish and the Bottlemen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm a scrub it took me forever to get this chapter to what I thought was acceptable and by then school got overwhelming. So to the person who commented like last night, thanks, because you were pretty much my motivation for actually uploading this lmao
> 
> Title from Nothing More

After the two had finished cleaning up breakfast, Leon decided he absolutely couldn't stay in pajamas any longer and needed to put real clothes on. Cloud had rolled his eyes over how Leon was that type of person, and Leon had just laughed and insisted again. 

"Oh come on, you know that means I'm just gonna have to steal more of your clothes," Cloud protested. 

"Yeah, well I also know you're gonna have to do that anyways, so it doesn't really matter," Leon said as he walked into his room and opened the closet. Cloud followed and stopped in the bedroom doorway. He leaned on the frame, gripping the edge, and rested his head against it. Leon couldn't help but think how mild and almost small Cloud seemed in that moment, though he'd never dare say that out loud. 

"You know, I never realized just how tired I was until I actually got a real night's sleep like a normal person," he said after a yawn. 

Leon laughed lightly. "I told you, normal people have nightmares." He pulled his shirt over his head and grabbed a new one out of the closet.

"Yeah, I know. Just not every night," Cloud muttered as he looked down. 

Leon finished changing and Cloud stepped into the room. He walked over to the dresser and looked at a little framed picture sitting on it. It was of Leon, Yuffie, Cid, Aerith and Merlin in the center of the town, probably something Yuffie commissioned herself. Leon walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around Cloud's body, and rested his chin on Cloud's shoulder. As much as he hated to admit it, he had slight butterflies in his stomach. Cloud still wasn't used to this kind of interaction again, and he had no idea where this whole thing was going to go. For now, he slowly brought his hands up to lay over the ones around his waist. 

"Well hopefully that'll get better soon. Maybe I can protect you from your nightmares," Leon said, half joking, but also half serious. 

Cloud scoffed playfully. "Thanks," he said as he leaned back into the warmth behind him. 

"Mmhmm.... So how's your leg today?" Leon asked. 

"Better. You know, the whole Mako thing really speeds up that process."

"Mmm. Convenient. Can I see it? It was still pretty bad yesterday."

"Yeah, sure," Cloud said as he pulled reluctantly away from Leon. He went and sat on the bed and pulled up his pant leg. He carefully undid the bandages and revealed a closed wound that was only moderately swollen. 

"Damn," Leon said in appreciation, "you weren't kidding. It's practically just a scar."

"I know. It still kind of hurts though, so I'm probably gonna try not to walk on it too much today. Or sleep on that side." Cloud said as he got up to go rebandage his   
leg. 

"Well good, take it easy today. Actually, I have to go help out with the cleanup from yesterday's attacks, so you can rest while I'm gone."

Cloud slowly reemerged from the bathroom. "What... You mean, you're leaving me?" he asked hesitantly. 

"Only for a little while. You know, the whole restoration committee thing."

"Oh," Cloud said as he sat down on the bed beside Leon again. 

"Hey, don't look so bummed. You said you were tired, so just take a nap and I'll be back before you know it," Leon said as he put his hand on Cloud's shoulder. 

"...Yeah, you're right. It'll be good for me."

Leon stood up and stretched. "I should go now then. The earlier I leave, the sooner I can come back." He reached down for Cloud's hands and gently pulled him up into a hug. The body warmth was nice, really nice, and the arms wrapped around him were so promising. Neither one of them wanted to let go, but eventually Cloud pulled back. 

"Go. Don't take too long."

"I won't, I promise." Leon said as he let go of Cloud's waist. 

He turned and walked out towards the front door. Just as he was about to open it, Cloud stepped out of the bedroom. 

"Wait," he said. Leon turned around and Cloud was suddenly there, so close their bodies were just barely apart. Cloud reached up, grabbing Leon's face in his hands, and pulled their lips together, leaving all inhibitions behind and moving solely on instinct and desire. Leon practically melted. He couldn't see anything, couldn't hear anything, the only thing he was focused on was the rough lips pressed against his, the tongue slipping into his mouth. All he could think about was how Cloud tasted like mint, probably his own toothpaste. It was fantastic. His fingers were tangled in Clouds hair, tugging slightly. Leon never even realized he was pinned to the wall behind him, not that he would have cared. Cloud ran his hand over Leon's chest and tilted his head, deepening the kiss even more. He traced his fingers over Leon's torso, eventually reaching his waistline. Cloud hooked his fingers in the belt loops and pulled their bodies even tighter together. Leon tugged on Clouds hair and he let out a low, throaty moan. Leon almost lost it. He had to stop. He could spend eternity like this and be happy, but he knew he had somewhere to be. 

Cloud beat him to it and pulled away a moment later. He turned on his heel and sauntered back to the bedroom. Leon finally understood the whole "hate to see you leave but love to watch you go" saying, because God was he feeling it then. 

Cloud hesitated in the doorway and delicately laid his hand on the frame, his back to Leon. He half-turned his head towards the other. 

"Don't take too long," he said again in a quiet, husky voice. 

Leon was out the door before Cloud could even blink.


End file.
